SCTV Network 90

1. One on the Town

Air Date: 1981-05-15

Guy Caballero welcomes you to SCTV's new programming season on NBC.

2. Polynesiantown

Air Date: 1981-05-22

Johnny LaRue plays a restaurant owner in his latest movie.

3. Southside Fracas

Air Date: 1981-05-29

Guy Caballero hires illegal immigrant Pirini Scleroso; the Fracases argue about their daughter's wedding.

4. Compilation

Air Date: 1981-06-19

A selection of sketches from the previous seasons.

5. Lunchtime Street Beef

Air Date: 1981-07-03

Johnny LaRue is desperate for work after the failure of "Polynesiantown."

6. Moral Majority

Air Date: 1981-07-10

Guy tries to appease a major advertiser.

7. Pledge Week

Air Date: 1981-07-17

SCTV holds a pledge drive.

8. Bouncin' Back to You with the Tubes

Air Date: 1981-07-24

Lola Heatherton is despondent after her live special is canceled.

9. The Great White North

Air Date: 1981-07-31

Bob and Doug McKenzie invite fellow hoser Ian Thomas onto their show.

10. CCCP 1

Air Date: 1981-10-16

SCTV's regular programming is interrupted by a Soviet satellite.

11. I'm Taking My Own Head...

Air Date: 1981-10-23

Libby Wolfson prepares for her new play.

12. Zontar

Air Date: 1981-10-30

The SCTV cast and crew falls victim to alien mind control.

13. Walter Cronkite's Brain

Air Date: 1981-11-06

David Brinkley's look at the human brain includes Walter Cronkite's childhood on Krypton.

14. Doorway to Hell

Air Date: 1981-11-20

Guy runs out of ideas and takes suggestions from the crew.

15. The Godfather

Air Date: 1981-12-11

A war erupts between the Five Networks when "Don Caballero" refuses to back a pay TV channel.

16. SCTV Staff Christmas Party

Air Date: 1981-12-18

Johnny is forced to tape "Street Beef" outside on Christmas Eve.

17. Teacher's Pet

Air Date: 1982-02-12

Ricardo Montalban is featured in a "To Sir, With Love" parody.

18. Midnight Video Special

Air Date: 1982-02-19

Gerry Todd hosts a concert special consisting entirely of videos.

19. The Great White North Palace

Air Date: 1982-04-16

Everyone is jealous of the attention Guy is paying to Bob and Doug--including giving them their own special.

20. Pre-Teen World Telethon

Air Date: 1982-04-23

The kids of Pre-Teen World hold a telethon after their funding is cut.

21. People's Global Golden Choice Awards

Air Date: 1982-05-01

When SCTV wins a suspicious number of awards, Bob Hope notifies the FBI.

22. 3D Stake from the Heart

Air Date: 1982-05-14

Count Floyd takes us behind the scenes of the latest Coppola and Dr. Tongue production.

23. Pet Peeves/The Happy Wanderers

Air Date: 1982-05-21

Hollywood stars reveal what bugs them; Stan and Yosh Schmenge welcome back a former Happy Wanderer.

24. Chariots of Eggs

Air Date: 1982-06-05

Hall and Oates star in Bobby Bittman's latest film.

25. Battle of the PBS Stars

Air Date: 1982-07-16

Carl Sagan's team takes on William F. Buckley's.

1. Rome, Italian Style

Air Date: 1982-10-15

On the SCTV Foreign Film Festival, Angelo loses control of his fantasies.

2. Days of the Week, The/Street Beef

Air Date: 1982-10-22

Everything comes to a head at Clay and Sue Ellen's wedding; Johnny meets a valuable ally at the bar.

3. Sammy Maudlin Show 23rd Anniversary/CBC

Air Date: 1982-11-05

Sammy celebrates a milestone anniversary, sidekick William B walks off the show, and the janitors of SCTV go on strike.

4. Indecent Exposure

Air Date: 1982-11-12

Guy Caballero is busted for writing a bad check to Fred Willard, forcing the arrival of SCTV Chairman Allan "Crazy Legs" Herschman. In 'The Nutty Lab Assistant', Ed Grimley makes his debut in this spoof of 'The Nutty Professor' in which Grimley decides to concoct a potion to make himself more attractive to his girl crush, and he ends up transforming into pop singer John Cougar. Mrs. Falbo's Tiny Town looks at atoms and rainy day activities. Also, Jackie Rogers Jr. promotes his late father's last TV special, "Swingin' With Mother Nature."

5. Melonvote

Air Date: 1982-11-19

The elections in Melonville for various public offices are under way. Mentally unstable Mayor Tommy Shanks is up for re-election against the seedy Vic Hedges. Meanwhile, Libby Wolfson runs for City Council, than becomes infatuated with her opponent. Also, the Shmenge Brothers salute John Williams, Brock Linehan interviews Linda Hopkins. In segment the "Human Sexual Response with Dr. Cheryl Kinsey", the shrink looks at teen dating, and of course, Melonvote Live.

6. Jane Eyrehead

Air Date: 1982-11-26

Features the segment "Angel Cortez: FBI Jockey." Bobby Bittman PSA for the Public Library. Gus the Security Guard makes everyone sign in while, John Houseman reads the phone book, "Farm Film Report" with Deney Terrio. The band America performs "Right Before Your Eyes." SCTV Movie of the Week: "The Bowery Boys In The Band." Dr. Rawl Withers introduces The National Midnight Star. Harry the guy with a snake on his face sells de-scramblers. A "reasonably faithful" spoof of Jane Eyre. Reverend Gene Filler of the Church of Unlimited Credit. "Monster Chiller Horror Theater" presents Dr. Tongue's 3-D House of Slave Chicks. Curly Howard sings love themes. Gus asks Edith Prickley out. People's Court (joined in progress), Rev. Gene Filler returns.

7. Towering Inferno

Air Date: 1982-12-10

The SCTV office moves into the tallest, thinnest building in Melonville, which turns into a spoof of 'The Towering Inferno' as Guy, Edith, and others are trapped in the 200-story tall building just as a fire breaks out and strands them on the uppers floors. Also, "Peter Pan" starring Divine and David Steinberg. Al Peck sells used fruit. "There's Justice For Everybody" starring Steve Roman. An ad for the Kid Sister Organization. "Monster Chiller Horror Theater." "One On the Town" looks at public transportation. When Wives Look Older Than Their Husbands: Farm Wives. "Let's Find Jerzy." Shakespeare for College Credit. The first "Melonville Calendar," and "Words to Live By" starring Mr. Mambo.

8. Christmas 1982

Air Date: 1982-12-17

Guy Caballero and Johnny LaRue come to blows over a meager Christmas bonus, resulting in a busted, drunken Johnny desperately tracking down Santa. Segments include Lola Heatherton's "Love Spirit" Christmas Special. Ed Grimley stars in "The Fella Who Couldn't Wait For Christmas." Rex and Edna Boil's Curio Emporium. Count Floyd's "Have Yourself a Scary Little Christmas." The lighting of the Melonville Christmas Tree. The Shmenge brothers explore Leutonian Christmas traditions. "Pre-Teen World Christmas Edition." Bobby Bittman and Jackie Rogers Jr. star in "Christmas - That's All." "You. with Libby Wolfson" looks at Chanukah.

9. A Star Is Born

Air Date: 1983-01-28

"The Days of the Week" returns for another six-episode run with a few new characters. The debut of "Half Wits" and "Artisans and Their Art with Bradley P. Allen". A spoof of the 1976 film 'A Star is Born' starring Crystal Gayle as an up-and-coming singer named Esther Blodgett who deals with her alcoholic husband who is past his prime. Finally, Idella Voudry makes her first appearance on "Melonville Calendar."

10. SCTV Classifieds/Vic Arpeggio

Air Date: 1983-02-11

To encourage small business advertising, SCTV cuts its ad rates, resulting in a series of on-the-cheap ads for several micro-entrepreneurs. In the segment "Stars In One" profiles aging child star Rusty Van Reddick. Vic Hedges stars in "Vic Arpeggio, Private Investigator". Steve Roman plugs his Valentine's Day special. Also, a group of philosophers debate whether the animated cartoon 'The Flintstones' was a rip-off of the 1950s sitcom 'The Honeymooners'.

11. Bobby Bittman's Retirement

Air Date: 1983-02-18

After discovering that he's opening for Ben Vereen and not the other way around, Bobby Bittman retires from show business. Sammy Maudlin's ex-sidekick, William B. Williams, hosts his own talk show with Irving Cohen. Bernadette Peters gets blown up real good on "Farm Film Celebrity Blow-Up". Also, Episode 9 of "Days of the Week" follows our scandalous characters for more drama. "Sunrise Semester." Finally, Claire Warmel presents "Communicating With Extremities."

12. Sweeps Week

Air Date: 1983-02-25

It's Sweeps Week and SCTV is promoting specials like "Jumping for Dollars", where large busted women jump up and down while Johnny LaRue watches, and "The Dallas Cowgirls Salute Aaron Copland," which is bit more self-explanatory. We also see the preparation for the special "Night of the Prime Time Stars," which is nearly thwarted when a poltergeist haunts the station, kidnapping Ed Grimley and Gus Gustofferson among others. Also, "Days of the Week" Episode 10 continues. Finally, promos for the miniseries "The Long Hard War."

13. South Sea Sinner

Air Date: 1983-03-11

William B Williams returns to the Sammy Maudlin Show. The Shmenges host a beauty pageant. Jackie Rogers Jr. plugs his biographical special, "Jackie, We Hardly Knew Ye".

14. Midnight Cowboy II

Air Date: 1983-03-18

"Midnight Cowboy II", a takeoff of the original Midnight Cowboy movie. Also, "Whatever Happened to Baby Ed" as a spoof of "Whatever Happed to Baby Jane". The final episode of "The Days of the Week" (with cameos by Catherine O'Hara and Carol Burnett). Finally, "Mel's Rock Pile" hosts the British punk rock band, The Queen Haters, and they trash the place.

1. The Great White North Palace

Air Date: 1982-04-16

2. Pre-Teen World Telethon

Air Date: 1982-04-23

3. The People's Global Golden Choice Awards

Air Date: 1982-05-01

4. 3D Stake From the Heart

Air Date: 1982-05-14

5. Pet Peeves / The Happy Wanderers

Air Date: 1982-05-21

6. Chariots of Eggs

Air Date: 1982-06-05

7. Battle of the PBS Stars

Air Date: 1982-07-16

8. Rome, Italian Style

Air Date: 1982-10-15

9. The Days of the Week / Street Beef

Air Date: 1982-10-22

season finale

1. Sammy Maudlin 23rd Anniversary / CBC

Air Date: 1982-11-05

2. Indecent Exposure

Air Date: 1982-11-12

3. Melonvote

Air Date: 1982-11-19

4. Jane Eyrehead

Air Date: 1982-11-26

5. Towering Inferno

Air Date: 1982-12-10

6. Christmas

Air Date: 1982-12-17

season finale

1. A Star Is Born with Crystal Gayle

Air Date: 1983-01-28

2. SCTV Classifieds / Vic Arpeggio

Air Date: 1983-02-11

3. Bobby Bittman Retires

Air Date: 1983-02-18

4. Sweeps Week

Air Date: 1983-02-25

5. Sammy Maudlin: South Sea Sinner

Air Date: 1983-03-11

6. 3D Firing Line: Midnight Cowboy II

Air Date: 1983-03-18

season finale

7. Episode 7

Air Date:

8. Episode 8

Air Date:

9. Episode 9

Air Date:

10. Episode 10

Air Date:

11. Episode 11

Air Date:

12. Episode 12

Air Date:

13. Episode 13

Air Date:

14. Episode 14

Air Date:

15. Episode 15

Air Date:

16. Episode 16

Air Date:

17. Episode 17

Air Date:

18. Episode 18

Air Date:

1. Maudlin O' the Night

Air Date: 1983-11-22

2. Gimme Jackie / Australia

Air Date: 1983-12-06

3. It's a Wonderful Film

Air Date: 1983-12-20

4. The Date Debate / Scary Previews

Air Date: 1984-01-03

5. You're On / Das Boobs

Air Date: 1984-01-17

6. Stars In One: Bob Hope / Happy Hour

Air Date: 1984-01-31

7. Stalag SCTV

Air Date: 1984-02-14

8. Diary of a Female Person / Happy Hour

Air Date: 1984-02-28

9. Just For Fun / Black Like Vic

Air Date: 1984-03-13

10. Youth, Do They Give A Damn or What? / Happy Hour

Air Date: 1984-03-27

11. Allenscam

Air Date: 1984-04-10

12. Oliver Grimley

Air Date: 1984-04-24

13. 2009, Jupiter and Beyond

Air Date: 1984-05-08

14. Half Wits / Save the World Parade

Air Date: 1984-05-22

15. Jackie Rogers, Jr. for President / Happy Hour

Air Date: 1984-06-05

16. Celebrity Fairie Tayles / Canadian Gaffes and Practical Amusements

Air Date: 1984-06-19

17. You're On / Happy Hour

Air Date: 1984-07-03

18. Pledge Week

Air Date: 1984-07-17

series finale